Feel the Love

then and now

nospam@example.com () — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:52:16 -0600

Found some old measurements. For some reason, tables come up funky in this blogging software, so I had to convert it to an image and upload it to my other site, here:

then and now

Best Posts

nospam@example.com () — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 21:26:52 -0600

The Daisy Dick Strap-on/Strap-off rope harness

Update #1 - Daisy Dicking around (with cotton)

The Jay Wiseman Guide to Erotic Masturbation

Cumming on Command? Priceless

My five bears of dick size

I got stopped by The Man

Bogus M4W Craigslist ads

Kicked off CollarMe?

The Force is Strong with this One

Sexist TOS

Handling Instructions

Auctioned off, but not as a bottom

Happy birthday to me?

Broken toys - BDSM gone wrong

Pins & needles

Taking the D/s out of BDSM

BDSM dissected

Don't wanna fuck no butts

Fucking versus getting fucked

Getting out of the house and into the scene

The Shibaricon Bullshooters story

Protect the children

Strangers rock, especially strange ones

Sex and drugs

It ain't the drugs; it's the diet, stupid

Fasting

Switchel

Trance states & religious ecstasy

Big fat fucking irony

The real reason I've managed to lose so much weight

Trading highs

Vitamin D

Soaking my wild oats

Bras suck, but can they kill?

Face blindness

Learned Optimism

It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion

The Man Magnet Phenomenon

Dead end

Missing person

The Universe is telling me to slow down

Manifesting cash

Self censorship

getting to 420

nospam@example.com () — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:43:41 -0600

Today's blog is hosted by the letter "T", as in tsunshinelove.com, which is where you'll find my latest rant:

getting to 420

untangling hair with vinegar

nospam@example.com () — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:47:20 -0600

Here's a use for vinegar I haven't seen highly publicized - as a hair detangler. I have yet to find a tangle that plain old apple cider vinegar can't get out eventually, and I've been to Burning Man! Not only does vinegar help with playa mane but it is also the standard treatment for playa foot.

What you do is you get your hair good and wet - soaking wet - with water in the shower. While it's wet, take a spray bottle and soak the living hell out of the wet hair with vinegar. Saturate it. Rinse.

Repeat until tangles fall out. You can pull the tangles out with your fingers very loosely and gently at this point. It will take half a bottle of vinegar, but it works. (without combing, at that!)

You'll be absolutely astounded at how soft and silky your hair is with the vinegar - I don't use conditioner at all anymore - just the vinegar every once in awhile when I need it.

You can also add things like herbal oils to help cover the smell or rinse with a thin layer of your regular shampoo after.

my big boobs and me

nospam@example.com () — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:54:37 -0600

My boobs are much smaller than they used to be, but a lot of this still resonates:

BBC My Big Breasts and Me

I really quite like how they show everything - including how to properly size and fit a bra, to how the surgery works, including showing pictures of the bruising and scaring. Very, very educational and interesting. I also liked how the physical therapist went right to the spots that always hurt on my back and shoulders. Small wonder I'm a total massage slut.

I'm still not sure what I want to do with my tits. I used to want a reduction, but now I sort of want a refill. I don't mind the size they are now, but the shape could be a bit, um, rounder.

why I smoke pot

nospam@example.com () — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 13:32:54 -0600

I never was a social smoker - I was only ever interested in marijuana medicinally, like so:

List of conditions for which I find cannabis helpful:

PAIN

Chronic pain and stiffness in back and neck, especially in the morning. Can't elongate spine.
General stiffness in muscles and joints. Pain in knees and ankles from excess weight and injuries. Relaxes tissue enough to stretch and strengthen.
Posture correction - enables me to stand straight for short periods of time without pain and retrain the weak muscles causing the pain.
PMS cramps (severe)

MOOD

Lifetime history (since puberty) of severe depression, periodically suicidal.
Lifetime history of anxiety, social anxiety, autistic over-stimulation/melt-downs, hyper alertness, irritability, panic attacks, phobias, nervousness, and obsessiveness. Improves concentration and focus in some areas. Major improvements in functionality, motivation, and productivity.
PMS - intense manic mood swings, hyper alertness, aggressiveness, and poor impulse control.
Possible PTSD from childhood physical abuse, bullying, rape, and other interpersonal trauma.
History of violence, rage, abuse, and assault.
Cigarette cravings (smoked 17 years 1989-2006)

ENERGY

Blood sugar (?) symptom suppression (weakness, exhaustion, dizziness, nausea)
Obesity/weight control - helps with appetite suppression when I don't need to eat
Chronic fatigue
Lifetime chronic insomnia (trouble getting to sleep, not staying asleep)
Decreased coordination/clumsiness/accidents/personal injury

falling up/down stairs
falling off bicycle, bus, curb, level ground
walking into walls/posts/trees/corners/counters/furniture/pretty much anything
increased burns and cuts in the kitchen
"mystery bruises"

I used to keep a teensy tiny bit around in case of emergency. Thing is, I've since found that it works better (for me, anyway) as a steady supplement than as an on-the-spot medication. Some uses are immediate, yes - but others seem to have more of a cumulative, long term effect. Rather like any other "normal" medication or supplement, it works better if I have a steady trickle in my system at all times.

Pot - it does my body good.

happy happy new year!

nospam@example.com () — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:39:52 -0600

Sex, pot, and poetry for breakfast. It's gonna be a good year. Or decade. Hard to believe it's 2010 already. Welcome to the future, y'all.

Last night was also good. Cool folks, fire dancers, fireworks at midnight, and nice long hot tub soak. Tried some boozed up chocolate cherries that were just divine, as well as some super yummy white and dark chocolate shortbread cookies. Hedonist heaven.

Happy happy new year and high hopes for all!

BDSM dissected

nospam@example.com () — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 19:47:11 -0600

BDSM is a blanket acronym that includes diverse areas of interest such as Bondage & Discipline, Sadism & Masochism, Domination & Submission, and maybe something else that I can't quite remember. But at any rate, it covers a wide umbrella of activities and interests.

Confusion results when people from one group try to talk to people in other groups but they all use one term to mean many different things. Particularly, people seem to want to equate submission with masochism or bottoming, which it is not. In the interest of clearing up some of this confusion, I offer the following individual term definitions which I would love to see spread like herpes:

Topping and Bottoming describe the physical act or position.

Top = gives sensation, Bottom = receives sensation

Sadism and Masochism define what sort of sensation (pain).

Sadist = gives pain, Masochist = receives pain

Sex is another sort of sensation (pleasure).

Person on top = gives sex, Person on bottom = receives sex

Domination and Submission describe attitudes or roles.

Dominant = in charge, Submissive = supportive

Master and Slave denotes ownership.

Master = makes rules, Slave = obeys them

Dom/Sub and Master/Slave always involve power exchange - but Top/Bottom, SM, and sex by themselves do not. Neither do fetishes.

Power exchange is an attitude, not an act.

Acts do not equal attitudes.

Thank you for listening. This has been another free broadcast of the Sunshine SM Awareness System. Be sure to tip your BDSM provider on the way out the door and always remember that if it don't make your dick hard or your pussy wet - don't do it!

the nice thing about dating

nospam@example.com () — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 13:42:16 -0600

I decided to take advantage of the break between classes and start dating again.

One nice side effect I didn't expect is that I'd be making friends. Of course, it seems obvious, since I'm all about the whole "friends first" thing, but the unexpected part is that even the ones that get disqualified for whatever reason are actually people I enjoy talking to and hanging out with, even if the whole dating thing doesn't really work out.

And that's nice. It's good to make friends. I didn't realize how lonely I'd been until I started having these uncharacteristically long conversations with some of these fellows. I'm having a really good time.

In a sense, I rather approached this in a masculine manner - focused directly on the sex and less on the human being behind it. Now as I actually step forth, I'm finding myself delighted anew to discover the people.

upgrade mostly successful

nospam@example.com () — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 20:07:24 -0600

I got tired of being hacked via WordPress so I decided to look for different blog software. Learning curves suck. Long story short, this site is finally back up and hopefully over all the 404 and 403 and access errors (fingers crossed). There's still some cleanup work to do, like all the photos that got messed up from the five other blogs I pieced this one together from. That'll take some time.

But meanwhile, I think I've finally got this site and its sister site all settled in for the night, at least.

I'm especially proud of the work I've done on the two pages that seem to get the most hits: Photos & Sessions

But I'm kinda bummed that I lost the ability to have different sidebars on different pages. That was nice, because I used it to keep the nekkid adult ads off the blog pages and on the ones that were specifically adult oriented. I tried to do a workaround involving a 3rd domain with a separate installation of the software, but that's one big goat fuck I'd rather not deal with anymore if I don't have to because it results in more of those 404 and 403 errors I mentioned earlier. Fuck it. Instead of ads, I'm gonna focus on affiliate sales.

I'm also kinda bummed that I can no longer do an automatic feed of my Twitter updates into my blog. I'll keep looking, because it seems like there should be a way, but I haven't grokked it yet. In the meantime, I do have this handy dandy page that serves about the same purpose: Live Updates, and hopefully I'll figure out a way to get them back into the main subscription stream eventually.

I also finally managed to tuck my NiteFlirt Phone Sex page into a frame within this site, which just thrills me to no end. It looks better on smaller zooms, which is easy enough to do by pressing CTRL and the PLUS or MINUS keys simultaneously depending on whether one wants it to get bigger or smaller.

My health site received a similar treatment with my counseling groups: Happiness Hill, Life Coaching Land, Medical Manor, Relationship Realm, & Spiritual Shores

Oh, but I'm most proud of all of this brand spankin' new index: click here to view all blog titles

empty

nospam@example.com () — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:53:48 -0600

the alarm is on

the lights off

heat at 67

but it seems cold

alone

and quiet

normal, yes

but not right

too quiet

empty

glad

you're not

gone

for longer

or farther

away

creepy guys who think they aren't

nospam@example.com () — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 10:44:46 -0600

Every so often I'll run into a guy, either online or in person, who postures himself as a nice guy in need of advice. Case in point was this one fellow on FetLife yesterday. He writes:

what is liable to set your warning bells off that a -let's just suppose, nevermind judging me- good decent trustworthy man might honestly mess up with no bad intention? Do you find any explicit mention of being up for 'casual' sex (whatever that means) immediately puts you off, even if you might actually want it? Is any man who mentions sex before [a certain mystery point] a creep, do you assume?

I understand this is a bit like giving away your interrogation techniques to the enemy, but hey -trust a moment? maybe some creeps will learn better how to pretend to be decent caring studly easy guys, but it'd help the decent guys too to know what we can do to distinguish ourselves without putting you off by claiming too much and thus sounding desperate either.

There is much, much more to this post, but this was the bit that set off warning signals in my head. Take note here, folks: nice guys don't typically have to ask how not to set off red flags or come across as not creepy. If that has been a problem for you in your life, there's probably a very good reason for it.

The rest of his post and then, dear god, the subsequent response thread confirms this initial impression. He proceeds to get angrier and more defensive, ultimately calling every girl who bothered to respond to him a bitch, more or less.

The moral of the story? Sometimes guys are just creepy. Sometimes they think they aren't. Sometimes they think they are nice guys who are being persecuted by all the mean people around them who just don't understand. But really they're total douchebag assholes who deserve the reputation and the shunning they get. But they'll never twig onto that because they are absolutely incapable of hearing the feedback that's right in their face. He even says so right in his initial post:

Nevermind analysing or critiquing or evaluating me, that always gets nastily critical and personal with people who really don't know me except from a few words and pictures online. Any of that I'll just ignore.

Except that he didn't. It might have been better for him if he did. But oh no, he had to hang around and scream at everyone that took umbrage with his incoherent, rambling, sexist post. Now that's classy. Can't imagine why he can't find dates.

dear mother management

nospam@example.com () — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:55:29 -0600

Left this on all the copy machines in my department; it was on every supervisor's desk by noon.

Tired of feeling like a human being?

Want to be treated more like a number?

Welcome to BullShit Insurance Company!*

Systematically destroying employee morale since 2005

No longer do employees have to feel uncomfortable experiencing the excessive freedoms and perks commonly granted to adult employee's in our company's past. We can at long last relax and be the children that we are, since extensive planning and research my our new management team has resolved any need for us to have independent thoughts or actions.

No longer do we have to worry if we are dress appropriately because management has thoughtfully applied a one-size-fits-all dress code policy for us to conform to. And a good thing, too, since many of us were hitherto unaware of the evils (or even definition) of flip-flops. Locked away from the public eye, we were lost in the isolation of our comfy clothes and relaxed attitudes.

Management has even been so considerate as to provide us with rules on what, where, and how to spend our free time. As with clumsy children, we have shown ourselves to be incapable of eating and behaving properly at the "grown up table"; therefore they have removed that burdensome challenge from us. Now we are all one big happy family eating together in that warm, cozy, and fragrant environment known as the break room.

Non smokers rejoice! Smoking has been banned not only from all indoor areas, but even outdoors as well. Talk about progressive! Management graciously provided THE BOX for the convenience of the dozens of social outcasts who continue to foul our air with their loathsome habit. But, should you thing that too generous, don't worry! Since management can't actually condone such a filthy habit, a compromise was made - we won't actually let the smokers sit down! (Just to be thorough, we're not allowing them to walk around, either.)

If one thinks back, one can remember the dark days when you could actually see groups of coworkers sitting at tables eating and smoking, talking and laughing, enjoying their time off together. To further prove our disdain for this disgusting subclass of employee, we have ensured that 8 empty tables are visible right across from the designated smoking area, unused except in the memories and imagination of our marooned smokers. And that's not even counting the half dozen or so forgotten tables within the inner courtyard, all non smoking.

Most of all the new management at BS Insurance* CARES. They care so much that it is now required for employees to leave their desk for breaks and lunch. The 10 minute and 40 minutes sitting in front a computer for personal use are apparently responsible for any workman's comp and ergo issues employees may have been experiencing - not the 7.5 hours of tedious production work as we had previously thought. And the internet: as it turns out, using the internet on breaks and lunch is also too much for our brains and bodies to take. Thank you, sweet mother management - for doing so much to save us from ourselves so consistently and without us even asking. I feel so loved.

*name changed to protect my ass from getting sued.

if I pretend to have a girlfriend, will you top me?

nospam@example.com () — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:19:41 -0600

Is it just me, or does this message seem fishy?

Hi Ms, my name is sarah as I was wondering if you'd be intrested in my boyfriend whos inSan Francisco fortwo weeks on business. I am a switch female, and I dom my boyfriend here inAZ where we live, but he is inCA this week. Basically, i'm just looking for another Ms to keep him in line while he ison buiness (it could be for a few hours or a few days). If your intrested please let me know, and if not it is no problem and I thank you for your time. Hope to hear from you soon, thanks. sarah.P.S. if you have ymessenger let me know your name so we can talk more on there!! thanks so much!!!!

So, I went and looked at "her" profile. "She" is a 21 year old 5 foot 8 120 pound dominant female (Wow! How hot is that?!) with no profile photo who is actively looking for other dominant women:

Hi my name is Sarah and I live in sunny Arizona. I have been into the bdsm lifestyle now for three years. I am a dom to my boyfrield and have lots of training and experience and would love to talk to other doms about the lifestyle. Please send me a message or email if you'd like to talk. I have a few pictures upon request.

Nice try, guy. I'm not buying it. I sent "her" an email saying how lucky I thought he was and to send some pictures of the two of them together. We'll see what he, I mean she, comes up with.

daisy dicking around

nospam@example.com () — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:14:04 -0600

So, I've been mucking with the design of my Daisy Dick strap-on harness. At first I was worried that the big round knot around the dildo might be a bit too bulky for the person on the receiving end, but I hadn't yet had a chance to test it out.

Yesterday I finally had a chance to bottom to one of my bulkier creations and I have to admit that the knot did get a bit uncomfortable in certain positions after awhile. From doggy style I didn't notice it too much but eventually one spot on my inner ass cheek started feeling annoyed, so we switched round to missionary. Here the knot actually felt pretty good but also got old after awhile. I did, however, come all over the place from both positions.

Then I tried being on top but my partner couldn't take the concentrated pressure of me on top bouncing and grinding my clit all over the rope. I tied this on a guy and we determined that placed above the penis it rests on the pubic bone enough for thrust but not enough to support weight. I haven't tried placing it directly over the penis yet because crushing the balls might be an issue, but I'm game to try it anyway. Stay tuned. If you're really into SM, there's all sorts of possibilities here for torture for both parties.

However, my goal is to make this thing as user friendly and comfortable for everyone involved as possible. So today I'm gonna try a slightly slimmed down version made with cotton rope from the hardware store (100 feet for just $6.99!) I chose cotton instead of hemp because it's much easier to wash - same thing with the synthetic poly rope above.

Apparently I've misplaced my camera, otherwise I'd show you a step by step pictorial of just how cool this leaner, meaner cotton version is. Meanwhile, here's a couple crappy shots I managed to upload from my phone; it's the best I could do:

The base is probably about half as tall as the ones I've been making with the colored poly rope. I can't decide which rope has more "give", though; the compressed cotton seems harder but it also is missing a center core, which I think just makes it seem denser tied than it does loose. The synthetic ropes are actually much more bulky, as they're solid all the way through and don't compress at all. We'll see which is more forgiving to fleshy bits after today's field test later.

Now, it's a little hard to see here, but the really super cool thing about this tie is that there are two layers of weaving that one can stick the dick in between and lock it into place. It was sort of possible but not really with the poly rope because the base went in there all right, but the rope took up so much space that the dildo sort of floated around in the hole, taking a small but desirable length off the shaft. Not so much with the cotton. Plus, the cotton really tightens up well; not quite as good as hemp, but much, much better than the slippery stuff.

Well, lucky me, I didn't even get to finish writing this blog before I got pulled off for field testing. Yay me. I love science. And the result? Much better. I hardly noticed the knot was there, except for at my "sits" bones, right at the base of my butt. I could tell something hard was hitting them, but it wasn't really unpleasant and once I really got into it, I completely forgot the rope was there and was totally unable to feel it after awhile.

Didn't try cowgirl position this time because I decided that tying this onto a male body above prexisting genitalia puts the pressure point of the knot too high (right on the bladder, as a matter of fact), and quite a bit higher than it would be on a girl, who would have this resting on the pubic bone, where it may or may not still be uncomfortable to hold weight. Obviously, further testing is still required.

Oh, and another thing of note - the suspenders are critical. I made the mistake of untying his at some point and then the whole thing just sort of flopped over. It also works best to cross the suspenders in the front for hands free, non-slipping, vertical control. I'll show some examples if I ever find my camera.